CHEF DIESEL

I’ll keep this short: American Idol sucked last night. All twelve girls either were boring, made bad song choices or just sounded like lame karaoke. Even my home-region girl Katie Stevens skewed way older with her Michael Buble song and missed the mark. I think she’ll still coast this week but she needs to have more fun and stop trying to prove she has pipes.

As Simon kept harping all night, there was no single female that screamed “star.” Simon nailed it when he said everyone was just trying to do an impersonation of other popular artists. If these were the twelve best women that AI could find, then…yeesh.

Favorite Performance
I actually liked Didi Benami. Mellow and sort of quirky like Megan Jo last year. The judges were OK with her, but I dug it and thought she was one of the best vocals of the night.

Who Will Go Home
Lacey Brown and Haeley Vaughn. Lacey’s “Landslide” fell off a cliff and Haeley’s interpretation of a Beatles’ classic was just all over the place vocally (even though I kind of liked the arrangement).

Insult of the Night
Simon Cowell to Crystal Bowersox: Something like “There are a thousand of you outside every subway station in the country.” I’m going to miss Simon.

Other Thoughts
Ellen DeGeneres looks terrible. I know she’s been around a while but god, she’s gotten old. Did you see the turkey neck? And the butch haircut is not helping. And please tell me she’s wearing contacts to enhance her blue eyes. Some things were not meant to be watched in HD. Aside from her looks, again she brought nothing to the show. A fourth judge is not needed.

I always feel like the band sounds cheesy before they get to the big stage. Just sounds like a bad backing track. Maybe it’s the small studio or just last night’s song choices but I don’t think Ricky Minor is doing the singers any favors.

Guys up tomorrow.