Resident NFL expert Mike Schaedler is back to drop his annual power rankings column. Strap in (or on).
The coming NFL season promises to be an exciting one, as always. The league is entering a new decade. Who are the most exciting new teams to watch? What former superpowers are starting to fade? What stars will carry your team into the 2010s? Did Al Davis actually draft Rolando McClain, a sound decision, or did somebody slip him roofies just before the draft and make the picks for him? All these questions and more are about to be answered.
(Disclaimer: Only some of these questions will be answered, and through pure speculation and nothing else.)
So without further ado, here are my 2010 NFL Preseason Power Rankings for Chef Diesel. They’re divided into groups of four based on overall Dieselness. The season hasn’t started yet, so take these with a grain of salt.
The “Absolute Worst”
32. St. Louis Rams: Ahhh the Rams. $50 million or whatever it was guaranteed for QB Sam Bradford. I’ve never really been sold on the guy. I don’t think he’ll be an absolute bust, but he’ll never, ever live up to that kind of money or his draft position. Not even close. Hey, they can still take the much better QB Jake Locker at #1 overall in next year’s draft and maybe pay him according to a rookie wage-scale. Unfortunately, they’ll stick with their choice and play through the consequences. Keep reading →
We’re roughly two weeks away from the start of the 2010 NFL season and I’m practically giddy. The kick-off game between New Orleans and Minnesota should be excellent. I’m fully entrenched in preparation for my fantasy drafts and I’m cannot wait to finally have a roster(s) to call my own. The recent news of a proposed 18-game season doesn’t sit well with me, but it doesn’t look like it will be a serious issue until 2012. Will there be a lock-out next season? Can America function without football in 2011? The owners print money with their teams. It’s hard to believe that an agreement can’t be reached. Look for a beginning-of-the-season Power Rankings column from resident NFL expert Mike Schaedler in the next day or two. Now I know I’ve already laid out my basic fantasy football strategy guide. Read it. Win your league. But now I’m taking it a step further. I’m breaking down each team, looking at the possible fantasy value and who I think you should target. Let’s do this. Keep reading →
I love everything about this classic 1985 jam. The opening guitar tone, the backing harmonies, the airy outro. “Your Love” is an instant party sing-a-long and the perfect song to come on right before you reach for that beer that’s going to push you past a nice buzz. Not surprisingly, the song holds up over 25 years later. You can’t deny that killer lead vocal. If nothing else, looking back at this video is hilarious. For a more modern take, I recommend Midtown’s 2005 cover.
Need a refreshing end-of-summer cocktail for your Labor Day BBQ? Mix up some Pink Drank and get the party started.
32 oz. Bottle of Santa Cruz Organic Strawberry Lemonade
375 mL Chilled Vodka (Roughly half a standard bottle. I like Smirnoff, but use whatever brand you prefer. DO NOT USE flavored vodka.)
2 Limes
Ice
Fill a pitcher a quarter full will ice cubes. Pour the chilled vodka over the ice. Dump your Stawberry Lemonade on stop then give a quick stir. Cut your limes in quarters, then squeeze the juice into the pitcher. Throw the rinds into the pitcher when done. Mix well. Adjust vodka (read: add more!) if necessary. Serve over ice in a clear plastic cup and garnish with a lime wedge. Diesel.
I saw the video below over on FilmDrunk. It’s a compilation of the the most fucked out, lazy, and my most hated cinematic plot device, originally from Top Gun. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” There’s nothing wrong with the sentence. In its original context, the dialogue actually works and gives Maverick a sharp comedic edge. My issue is with its repeated use. Maybe it deserved a smirk the first time it was referenced in a subsequent film, but over twenty-five fucking years and god knows how many scripts later? You’ve got to be kidding me. The quote isn’t inherently funny. It’s not funny or skilled writing to ironically reference a twenty-five year old quote. People or characters who do so are creatively bankrupt and deserve public ridicule (and anal warts). This is why Hollywood is fucked and America is stupid. This is why Vampires Suck actually got made and why hacky writers become millionaires and Party Down gets canceled.
Prep
1) Bring dough to room temperature. (Don’t be a hero. Buy pre-made pizza dough at the super market.)
2) Roughly dice 2-3 tomatoes. Put them into a bowl with a little salt, pepper, 2 cloves of chopped garlic, basil and a splash of olive oil. Smash together with the back of a fork and let macerate for at least 20 minutes.
My love affair with Tegan & Sara continues. Try to not dance to this remix of “Alligator.” It’s impossible. I dig the eighties synth vibe created by Passion Pit. It fits nicely in between Nu Shooz and Soul II Soul on one of my favorite retro playlists. If you’re really into the song, there’s a whole album of “Alligator” remixes. Seems just a tad redundant, so I cut the fat and give you this track. Yes, slightly hipster, but I can overlook that fact as long as you’re not bumping it in your yellow discman while wearing a skin tight John Stockton jersey.
